“We speak for the dead to protect the living.” –Judge Peter Thornton QC on the purpose of coroner’s reports (2012)
“Mr Middleton [the coroner] said he did not believe the retreat had directly caused her fibromyalgia, but agreed trauma, prostrations and disturbed sleep could have contributed, adding “common sense will say it is possible those three elements could have worsened the fibromyalgia.”
‘The way in which this organisation [Rogpa UK] is operating is not safe.” –representative for Claire’s family (2026)
Reports were published a few days ago in mainstream UK media (see here ) after the conclusion of an inquest by assistant coroner, Richard Middleton, into the tragic suicide of a British woman, Claire Rodway after she stayed in a retreat on Holy Isle, Scotland. Rodway, a 52-year-old wellness teacher and former nurse, died by suicide after suffering debilitating back pain brought on by repetitive bowing exercises [prostrations] during a Buddhist retreat on Holy Isle, Scotland.
I have not yet read a copy of the full coroner’s report (or the inquest itself) but it is likely that UK (non-Buddhist) media reports may have left crucial parts of the inquest inquiry out or glossed over them. However, even from what has been reported (and in terms of undisputed material facts), it is clear that doing full length or even half prostrations daily when in severe physical pain is going to cause some difficulties and even mental and physical sickness.
I also share some personal observations below of the case, the Buddhist perspective on such “purification practices” (including the “voluntary starvation” practice of Nyung Nge) and knowing when to draw the line. As well as my own experience as a survivor of misconduct and the accompanying dangers and risks of suicide, when teachers (and their administrators or helpers) lack love, compassion, kindness, humility, and willingness to change and take accountability.
I conclude by noting the general lack of personal accountability or even a simple apology, and worse active cruelty, persecution and bullying in cases involving women who feel aggrieved at the conduct of Buddhist teachers, such as myself. That it should never have to get to a non-Buddhist legal court in order to discuss and resolve any issues without expensive lawyers and court fees. And if the teachers are unable to do that, then their power and wisdom is doubtful.
Finally, I offer Claire this article as a testament to her experience and voice (had she been alive), and my own heart-felt personal apology, that even though her death may not have been directly “preventable”, that the common sense, care and compassion, supposed to be cultivated and present in such Buddhist “communities”, seems to have been sorely lacking when it was needed most. In particular, to have to wait six weeks on a waiting list for pain management is beyond comprehension.
I hope and pray that her painful death leads to something beneficial we can all learn from, in particular, those “caring” communities, and raise awareness and warnings to others who may be considering entering such retreats with unexamined (or unqualified) teachers. Coroner’s reports are supposed to “speak for the dead” to protect the living, and I hope my writing on this from the Buddhist perspective and as a woman, at the very least, helps to do that too.
Music? Breathing Out Love and Compassion Om Mani Padme Hum mantra and Tonglen meditation, by Adele Tomlin/Dakini Songs, and Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John.
Material Facts presented at the coroner’s inquest into Claire’s death
- Claire Rodway, 52, was fit and active before she went to stay at the remote monastery on the Holy Isle on the Ayrshire coast in October 2024.
- The Retreat: She attended a year-long program at the Kagyu Samye Ling Monastery on Holy Isle in the Firth of Clyde, starting in October 2024.
- The Practice: She performed a daily physical routine requiring 650 full-body prostrations (bowing motions touching the floor), totaling tens of thousands of repetitions. It is said that Ms Rodway had completed 100,000 prostrations in just five months.
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The inquest into her death also heard Ms Rodway’s sleep was constantly disrupted by taking part in 2am remote teachings from Nepal, given by Drupon Karma Lhabu, formerly a teacher at Holy Isle.
- The Injuries and Aftermath: The rigorous exercise left her in severe physical agony, and after enduring five months she left the monastery and after weeks of unbearable pain, she was diagnosed with the chronic pain condition of fibromyalgia.
- After leaving the retreat on February 16 2025, Ms Rodway stayed elsewhere on the island until April 2.
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Two weeks later she went to see her GP about her back pain, but by June that year she had to move in with her mother, Christine because the pain was so debilitating. She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia on July 3 and prescribed pain medication and antidepressants.
- The pain left the former nurse, from Christchurch, Dorset unable to volunteer or work.
- She was on a six-week waiting list for pain management when she was reported missing on October 2. Her body was found the same day.
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Tragically she was found drowned in the River Avon on October 2, 2025
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The inquest heard the popular teacher had left notes for loved ones saying the pain had ‘destroyed my life’. Her family told the inquest the monastery did not carry out risk assessments on participants’ health, putting the lives of the most vulnerable in danger.
- The Inquest conclusion: An inquest confirmed a few days ago she took her own life because she could no longer bear the constant, severe physical pain.
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Assistant coroner Richard Middleton gave a conclusion of suicide and said he did not believe Ms Rodway’s death was preventable, ruling he was satisfied the monastery had taken appropriate action to address issues when they arose.
Mr Middleton said he did not believe the retreat had directly caused her fibromyalgia, but agreed trauma, prostrations and disturbed sleep could have contributed, adding “common sense will say it is possible those three elements could have worsened the fibromyalgia.”
Personal Observations: The Holy Isle retreat allegations and teachers, Drupon Karma Lhabu and Katen Lama
Claire had also allegedly complained of bullying during the retreat by Drupon Karma Lhabu (former leader of retreats at Holy Isle) and the inquiry confirms she had to do intense levels of prostrations daily despite increasing levels of intense pain. They also received “sleep disrupting” teachings at 2am from Nepal from Karma Lhabu, which the coroner agreed would have exacerbated the “trauma” of any injuries. I had previously reported on this before (which was welcomed by people close to Claire at the time) but later removed the article at the request of her family until the inquest had finished.
At the time, Claire’s suicide then led to more public revelations of allegations by Buddhist women (including former nuns) on longer retreats at Holy Isle (under the “care” of male monastics from Tibetan Buddhist monasteries in India and Nepal), who all spoke of similar treatment being unable to leave and being denied treatment. They provided their testimonies privately, on the condition that I not name them publicly (which I did not).
I had been aware of those cases for several years but had not reported on them because none of the women had given me their personal testimonies. However, Claire’s suicide brought these issues back into the spotlight and the women themselves (infuriated and saddened by Claire’s suicide) verbally and in writing reported to me their own trauma and “horror” during the isolated Holy Isle retreats with “celibate” male monk teachers, Drupon Karma Lhabu and Katen Lama, both of whom spent many years in India or Nepali monasteries, and are not UK origin citizens.
The coroner’s inquiry: reports of family, friends and Lama Zangmo, and absence of witness accounts from Holy Isle previous retreats
It was reported that the coroner’s inquiry heard from the family of Claire who thought that her condition and suicide was preventable and that her physical condition and pain were not properly analysed or safeguarded by the Holy Isle retreat centre (administrated by ROGPA UK Trust):
“Ellen Robertson, counsel for the family, said: ‘It’s a remote island with no medical facilities available.
‘A great deal of people on the retreat will have taken vows of silence, people are undergoing a huge change in their environment. These retreats will always, by their nature, involve a risk of attracting vulnerable people and make people more vulnerable when they are there.
‘The way in which this organisation is operating is not safe.”
The report also said that:
“Ms Rodway’s close friend Rosemarie Roberts said she had warned her the intense retreat – which also required participants to stay silent in the evenings for hours -would be ‘very difficult and challenging’.
Ms Roberts said her friend was confident she could handle the stay but later told her she regretted going to the Holy Isle, writing to her that she was ‘feeling lost’, that her pain ‘was worse’.”
Lama Zangmo speaking for the retreat administration and ROGPA trust stated that things had improved since then. Interestingly, it is not clear from the inquest if statements were taken from the the 2am teacher in Nepal, Karma Lhabu, who is at the centre of the bullying allegations from women on Holy Isle retreats.
Were there any supporting testimonies from other Holy Isle female retreatants?
I was also surprised to learn that the women from the Holy Isle retreat who had reported similar situations of being bullied and being denied medical treatment or permission to leave to get medical help, may not have been called to give statements at the inquiry. Especially as it was reported that:
“Helen Richardson, a trustee of the ROKPA Trust, who ran the monastery, said they had a consistent high safety record for longer retreats. She said in over 30 years only six percent of people had left early.”
Yet this statement directly contradicts the testimonies I had from identifiable women I spoke to, who told me many women wanted to leave the retreat and were prevented from doing so, and even had their passports confiscated to stop them.
The Buddhist purification practices, “principles” and “laws”: prostrations and voluntary starvation techniques
Some non-Buddhists reading this, may wonder why Claire or anyone would submit to doing such physical practice even when in intense pain. From the Buddhist perspective (and principles of karma and merit) which are sadly often not considered in non-Buddhist legal forums or legal applications, Vajrayana and Tibetan Buddhist practices like prostrations, are considered to encourage humility, devotion, and a kind of purification or prior negative actions from the Buddhist perspective.
For example, physical and emotional pain, as when doing the Nyung nge where participants literally starve themselves of food for two days, and even no liquids/water on the second day, while performing continual prostrations and chanting Buddhist aspirations and mantras while visualising a Buddhist deity is seen also as a purification practice and the nun, Gelongma Palmo, who created the practice in the 11th Century after getting leprosy, is said to have reported great benefit from it. See my article on the origins of this practice and its purpose in using sickness and suffering to produce positive results, here.
Was there an intervention of “common sense, care and compassion”?
However, from a humane and “common sense” perspective, what is required in any long retreat (especially where women are being guided by Tibetan Buddhist monks who grew up in all-male “celibate” macho environments) is a sensitivity to other people’s pain and suffering. And to know when to draw the line.
Although the coroner may not have been able to clearly find that Claire’s subsequent medical conditions and suicide were not preventable in terms of what happened on the retreat.
As the coroner, Richard Middleton said, he did not believe the retreat had directly caused her fibromyalgia, but agreed trauma, prostrations and disturbed sleep could have contributed, adding “common sense will say it is possible those three elements could have worsened the fibromyalgia.”
It was reported that Lama Zangmo stated that adjustments were suggested, but that Claire herself had chosen to continue with the more physically arduous full-length prostrations. A narrative that sounds doubtful if Claire was in a lot of pain.
Sadly, we do not have Claire’s testimony to speak about what happened and what she considered to be the defining factor in creating that painful medical condition during the retreat, and her subsequent suicide. I do not know if the family are going to appeal it or not. But the lack of testimonial evidence of bullying and being denied crucial medical treatment by other women on Holy Isle retreats could present a reason to appeal it.
Judging by those other similar complaints of bullying and lack of provision or access to medical treatment on the same Holy Isle retreat, with the same Buddhist teachers (operating from video link in Nepal) at least we can say that compassion and “common sense” are also essential elements of “wisdom” and “discernment” and Buddhist view and practice, and these seem to have been clearly lacking in those respects at least, according to even the coroner.
A female survivor’s experience of male monastic cruelty, misogyny, jealousy, discrimination, malice and bullying within the Tibetan and Vajrayana Buddhist tradition
Claire’s suicide is a tragedy indeed though, which I and others can relate to. Although I was not suffering the same physical pain, I know from lived experience that cruelty, malice, that reveals itself in bullying, isolation, lack of communication, lack of access to justice, false accusations and even vexatious legal actions can leave one feeling “knocked out” , worn down, depressed and isolated to the point where suicide feels like an option.
I can personally state in terms of my own traumatic experience of being a survivor of misconduct (one of the very few who exposed it publicly after private concerns were met with silence, defamation and shunning/exclusion), as well as the six year online and private smear campaign, impersonation, loss of funds, blacklisting, shunning and active falsehoods then spread about me, my background and motivation that many of these so called monastics (and teachers) are totally lacking love, compassion and wisdom in relation to women (and men), and worse are engaging in cruel, discriminatory, persecutory and bullying conduct with malicious intent to harm. These are not isolated cases. [2]
Such situations, often leave a lone woman up against a huge “brick wall” of male patriarchal instituion, with lots of money and worldly power (that goes AWOL and becomes uncontactable when any accountability is sought) feeling brutally drained, exhausted, isolated, bullied and denied justice or a fair consideration of the material facts, fates and locations.[1] In particular, the isolation and/or lack of public (or even private) support can be debilitating and demoralising. Not much care or compassion from the teachers who are supposed to be a loving refuge, and people fearful of facing similar bullying and exclusion if they assist or try to advocate on my behalf.
The era of treating students badly is over
The senior head of one of the oldest Tibetan Buddhist lineages, 17th Gyalwang Karmapa recently taught that the era of treating students badly like Tibetan yogis Milarepa and Marpa is over. Claire was not Milarepa and the teacher (Drupon Karma Lhabu) who has been accused by other women in Holy Isle of bullying and cruel treatment, was not viewed by them (or me) as the same level as the great Tibetan translator-practitioner, Marpa. And nor should they/we be forced to either.
Devotion and respect for a teacher should never be forced on anyone and must arise naturally and spontaneously in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. Although judging by three hundred years of Gelug sectarian rule in Tibet and in Indian exile, there does seem to be a prevailing attitude that anyone who does not show devotion or follow the 14th Dalai Lama is a traitor or a Chinese spy, which is clearly not true.
A lack of any humility or apology by “Buddhist monks” supposed to take the “lowest seat” and “offer the victory to others”
At the very least, as in my case, what also seems to be lacking by these teachers (and their community administrators) is a willingness to admit things could have been better or done differently.
A sincere apology (or at least some mature, intelligent, kind verbal face to face mediation) can have an immense healing effect and is supposed to be the Bodhisattva way of “giving the victory to others”. Especially when it is backed up with genuine change.
This conduct is what is lacking here in my opinion and one in which a non-Buddhist legal court or forum cannot consider or address. Cruelty and lack of communication or kindness is not illegal per se unless one can show clear and deliberate falsehoods and fabrication active intent to defame and damage.
Yet in the Buddhust world/”court” let us say, this kind of conduct would be found in an objective and fair Buddhist court based on Buddhist views and principles, “guilty of lack of humility and compassion” by a teacher whose “students” also are guilty of not having the requisite devotion, trust and qualities needed to follow a Vajrayana teacher. That is not the fault of the student though. The burden in all these cases is on the “superior in terms of qualities” teacher to thoroughly examine a student beforehand and vice versa.
Compassion, love and wisdom are essential in Buddhism and (in my personal opinion) is that these seem to be lacking. And from the Buddhist perspective, that is the worst and most lasting indictment of all. As those qualities are the root of all the practice and samaya commitment of a Buddhist practitioner and teacher.
Perhaps I missed it, but I have yet to hear or see any kind of humble apology from any of these Buddhist teachers involved or genuinely “offering the victory to others”. So there is an element of not practicing what they preach to others. And we should not be surprised that many people in these communities end up modelling and acting out the same behaviours to anyone who dares to whistleblow and raise the alarm on potentially cruel or uncompassionate conduct and misogynist and sexual, physical and emotional abuse.
Concluding remarks and my own personal apology
So if anything comes from Claire’s tragic death. Let is hope that is the message we all take away. If any teacher, prganstoon or administration lacks love, compassion, humility, willingness to change and even worse cruelty, bullying and active smear campaigns and intimidation, in rhe Buddhust “law court” (and even mon Buddhisy ones) at least those are unlawful and should be addressed.
May Claire’s death help ensure that such situations never arise again. And that all women who feel persecuted or bullied by monks and their communities for speaking out about potential misogyny, misconduct and bullying (as in my case) are given open, transparent and fair forums to have their concerns heard and adjudxatdd on and that “judge and jury” decisions by biased people seeking to voice and cover up blame are not accepted as legitimate, compassionate or true.
That people examine carefully the teachers and retreat leaders have stable love, compassion and wisdom for all. Personally, I think women’s retreats should be led by women only teachers, and not monks, unless a woman has really examined the male teacher and has full confidence and devotion to them and their qualities.
If the people in charge of these retreats cannot find it within their hearts to see any errors from their own side, or offer an apology to her family for their suffering and pain from the suicide, then I will. Sorry on behalf of Buddhists who still believe that love, care, compassion and wisdom are the defining qualities of Buddhist practice and view, and that mandala offering, and lines of people queuing up to offer white scarves and prostrations to monks on high thrones is not.
Endnotes
[1] In my case the teacher who is said to have brought the case has been completely uncontactable for months, even when I stayed for one month at the monastery guest house with permission, and as a result of being unable to get my statement and applications to vacate for lack of material cause, falsehoods, and inadmissible evidence on the record for “filing defects”, my generous and kind offer of pre trial mediation has also been ignored. How does that fit with the Buddhist notion of forgiveness, compassion, kindness, truth, justice and resolution?
[2] Even more recently, of being willing to fabricate and mislead a Delhi court about dates and timelines and a non-existent “threat” regarding a lone woman (outside of the country) who had not even been given an opportunity to defend herself in that forum and after the ex parte order was made. And who for the past three months (despite bona fide trying) has been unable to get her response, evidence, statements, applications to dismiss onto the court record for proper and fair consideration, due to continual administrative filing and formatting requirement “defects” issued by a faceless online court registry website returning statements and applications to dismiss the order and suit for minor filing or formatting “defects”.
Being told the only route to ensure that would be to instruct Indian counsel. Yet, not being in a position to get legal representation in India due to my location and the high (and punitive) financial cost of doing so.
Sources cited
Wellness teacher who hurt her back during Scots island Buddhist retreat took her own life over pain, inquest told The Scottish Sun report (30 July 2026)
A SURVIVOR’ S TESTIMONY/EXPERIENCE: Adele Tomlin and the six year smear and shunning campaign
this is serious matter. firstly, usually in retreats of the past , there is a blessing consecration on the practitioner, that they do not get pain. lately they are removing your own natural binding plus not giving the due blessing that elevates one during retreat & is painless. supposed to do 8 hrs prostrations a day. it is black magic. all religions are doing this they are crushing away your own inner spirit when one is still young. this is very bad. & implies the teachers have lost their credentials & are not authorised to give bona fide retreats or anything. seems has devolved into a prison .i also am struggling to recapture my original merit blessings when i was almost immortal. this was taken away from me like skinning an animal alive by some syndicate mafia patron & sangha in cape town. i clearly remember how it was better in the 1980s, 1990s early 2000. then all these other corruption got worse & worse , & the exclusions, the killings & worse. but it is wrong for a religion to make you pay just to have a small piece of the dharma texture essential as a base .it is like making you pay $1 for each breath you breathe. plus all the spies & money mongers & doctors who prey on retreats & stop natural enlightenment because they want some disease to occur for their benefit. so much abuse worse & worse will turn into earthquakes soon . why have they still not provided a helpline & list of safe teachers, miracle healers, places ???? stop the no no nayer spies.