Here is a new poem I wrote recently in relation to a situation that arose recently. It is a mix of melancholy acceptance with also a reverence and respect for what it true and precious in one’s heart and mind. A reminder that “we have to be the light we want to see in the world”. When those we placed our trust, love, reverence, faith and heart betray us, and even worse cruelly abandon and cast us aside like rubbish, not to take it personally but to remember the golden heart of love, compassion, empathy, courage and the importance of protection of our precious heart:
Seeing “Behind the Scenes”
And then you get to see behind the scenes,
the closed doors of a “religious” room, which they
tried and failed to exclude you from.
You hear and see what they really write and talk about.
Their gossip about you and others.
Their focus and interests.
Their daily lives, habits.
What they eat, own, spend money on, consume, watch.
How much food they waste.
The endless talking drivel and doing nothing meaningful, dressed up in “religious robes” and titles.
The empty-hearted performance.
The “scuzzy grubbiness” of what they try to hide, chase and desire,
the depth, growth beauty and
“uncomfortable conversations” they actively push away.
And when you finally have the courage to leave
(or they exclude or push you out)
Or the Protectors pull you out like dragging someone out of a raging fire,
you feel like having a wash.
grieving and crying, for
the loss of what you had mistakenly thought them to be,
At your error for trusting people yet again to be who they say they are,
and yet relieved at being able to breathe and move freely,
Protected by the Truth And
An honest and kind heart.
It’s not that you were unworthy to be in and around
such “low vibrational” places and people,
if you really love people, you do not mind,
Being around those who cannot stand to be in the same room or space with you,
And try to deal with them as they are.
But you realise you cannot stay,
Because it is they who do not feel worthy to have
and see you in their room.
You are “the real thing” what they have been performing.
And the higher frequency, truth, effort, faith, courage, merit, diet, energy is just too bright for them to bear.
So they pour all their projections, lies, delusions, fear,
inner poverty and self hate onto you and each other.
Not even able to rejoice and feel happy
you have made a new and pure connection with a teacher,
Or were able to go on a walk with them.
Unable to rejoice or even see your positive, and
even extraordinary activities or qualities.
They become completely blinded by, and almost “insane” with dualistic clinging, jealousy, aversion
and lack of love, joy and compassion.
They have turned the precious and beautiful Dharma
into a career job, status symbol, mass entertainment,
and social events or escapism.
Unable to be alone for even a week they hunger for satisfaction on a temporary external validation level but not within.
So naturally they see everything you do and offer with a pure heart, as selfish, fake, useless and not worthy of their or anyone’s praise or attention.
Yet they cannot stop STARING at you either.
So you have no choice but to leave their windowless, unforgiving, airless sterile and “safe” room, to free them and you from their obsessive “hate” and self-loathing,
to breathe again, and to really see and understand the nature of some rooms/labels
and why it really is a major blessing and protection to be “excluded” with hostility and judgement from some rooms.
Truth is not always pleasant to read or hear.
It squeals like Varahi’s sow head.
But those who seek to silence it and cover their ears,
Will never hear or see the Truth
And lies will never die or change,
While avoiding its “unflattering” light.”
Adele Tomlin. 30th April 2026.