Today, I am sad and concerned to report that I got this message from an anonymous person concerned about the well-being and safety of a Tibetan woman, Tsering Dolkar Taglha, in the Tibetan community in exile, who is married to Tenzin Taglha, a nephew and secretary of the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso. The woman allegedly posted on her Facebook page a “desperate cry for help” as a domestic violence survivor:
“Hello. I have to make a tip-off. Do you know Tenzin Taklha? The nephew and also the secretary of the 14th Dalai Lama, is alleged of infidelity and domestic violence by his wife in her Facebook handle! The 14th Dalai Lama knew all the story but he only asked Tsering Dolkar Taklha, his wife to forgive. It seems that Tsering Dolkar Taklha had deleted these contents. However, someone screenshotted the post and these captures are circulating in some Tibetans communities.”
I have never met either person, but have seen this man with the 14th Dalai Lama many times. I, like many others, were no doubt shocked to read and see these photos and post on Facebook by a woman in what seems to be a rather sad and desperate cry for help. However, regardless of how long the couple have been married, the issue needs to be exposed because not only is it about alleged serious and persistent violence against women and alleged infidelity, but also involves someone who is very close to the 14th Dalai Lama.
I waited before publishing anything to see if I could get any more substantive evidence about the case. I was then informed that the woman had since posted that it was fake, suggesting that she had not written it, and that her FB account had been hacked into by someone else. This is also startling to hear, not only because that in itself is a serious crime of bullying and defamation, but also why would anyone bother targeting her and her husband, knowing that she would only deny it afterwards?
Alternatively, some are suggesting in the community that she may well have been pressured to remove the post and deny her authorship of it. If true, then the questions that need to be asked, are:
1) why is a woman being asked to forgive such dangerous violence and infidelity in the Tibetan exile community by the 14th Dalai Lama and those close to him? Is it because they care more about their ‘image’ than about her physical, psychological well-being and safety? Such advice could not only be endangering the woman’s safety, and personal and psychological health, but her life.
2) If the 14th Dalai Lama and other senior lamas are not aware of these incidents, how is it possible that someone so close to the 14th Dalai Lama (his nephew too) would be doing these things privately, and yet not him not be aware of it, or have told him to stop? If the 14th Dalai Lama is a living Buddha or great Avalokiteshvara, as many believe him to be, he would have the siddhi power of what is called ngo-shepa which is a kind of clairvoyance and awareness of other people’s minds and activities.
In addition, in the Vajrayana such non-consensual degradation goes against the very spirit of the Hinayana, the Mahayana and Vajrayana vehicles. it is one of the root downfalls of Vajrayana in fact.
On a more general note, everyone knows that such violence if left to continue can even end up in the murder of women. In fact, such violence by intimate partners (or family members) is the number cause of murder of women globally. The UN recently reported that one woman or girl is killed EVERY TEN MINUTES, by an intimate male partner or family member. domestic violence homicides are the number one cause of deaths of women globally. There is nothing “domestic” or homely about it at all.
In fact, not only are such situations dangerous, but they are setting a very poor role model for their children too, who will either normalise such persistent, serious violence towards women, or also fear violence themselves and feel helpless at protecting the “physically weaker” woman.
In any case, I am not an independent investigator, and I have not personally seen the FB post (which has since been taken down) but as a woman concerned about survivors of violence and misconduct, I take very seriously the issue of domestic violence and degradation of women. In particular, the survivor may be afraid to speak out for fear of more violence.
However, if she did not write it, I sincerely hope that the involved parties, or those close to them, will instigate a full investigation of the matter, and who was responsible for posting such a malicious post impersonating In particular, the survivor may be afraid to speak out for fear of more violence.
I was encouraged to write about this issue by others, and not to allow it to be covered up and hidden from further public view. Normally, I would not get involved in such cases either, However, I hope that this article may lead to some healthy, safe and just resolution of this serious issue. Online anonymous impersonation and defamation of people without any accountability is not OK. But also violence in the home is not domestic, it is violence and unless the woman freely welcomes and consents to it (in some kind of sexual relationship or tantric relationship) then it is totally unacceptable, whoever it is.
I doubt very much the Buddha would have encouraged any woman to tolerate such anger, misogyny, disrespect and life-endangering violence in her home around their children. Love and compassion are the heart and life-blood of a happy union and marriage. Although it is good to try and make a marriage work and not give up easily on it, there are limits. As someone said: “Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.”
Music? Dad I’m Home by Jay Chou.
That is deeply disturbing. May this and all women be free from harm and any suffering. They have suffered more than enough.
And frankly speaking, male violence is the major external cause of suffering. Femicides, homicides, wars. No dictatorship without it. Environmental crisis because of male violence (non-physical, unless in oppression of activists etc). Maybe we should judge the level of evolution of societies based on the degree of male violence instead of considering scientific or technological improvements. Especially the degree of male violence against women, as a first step. May all sentient beings be free from it.
Indeed. I agree that would be a very worthy subject of research and focus. They say one can judge the level of a culture and society in terms of how they treat women, children and animals, as in those who are generally physically “weaker” in terms of physical strength or social and political power.
I agree with the author’s inference that Tsering Dolkar Taklha was most likely under tremendous pressure from Tenzin Taklha, which forced her to deny her previous post. The misdeeds of Tenzin Taklha have been widely discussed within our exile Tibetan community, but due to his special status, few people have dared to expose him. I hope this incident serves as a catalyst, encouraging more people to come forward and reveal his illegal activities, so that justice can be served and our cause for Tibetan freedom can be salvaged, ultimately saving the Exile Tibetan Community.
Thank you. I do not know, but it is a possibility and thus needs to be stated as one. Domestic violence survivors often are pressured to withdraw and deny their claims/cry for help, especially if the man is a public figure as in this case here. As for it being widely discussed in the Tibetan exile community, I was not aware of that. Please do send me an email about that, if you have further information. I agree that corrupt individuals, especially within the Gelugpa sectarian group has created many difficulties and obstacles for Tibet and Tibetans, and continues to do so. The whole idea that Gelugpas brought unity to Tibet in the 17th Century is one such false narrative that really needs to be challenged and dismantled. It was a violent foreign military invasion, that involved mass murder, theft, destruction, suppression and censorship of the other main lineages. It may have brought some kind of unity, but not a genuine one based on respect, love, compassion, peace and harmony. It was based on violence and intimidation, and still is.
I recently came across your blog when I was actually checking whether anyone from other sects is a part of Gaden Phodrang foundation, which is actually supposed to be Rime but I noticed that all the trustees or board directors are either the relatives or close friends or Gelugpa rinpoches. Just wait and watch in the future that the Taklha kids will soon become a board of directors of some trustee, just like Jetsun Pema’s daughter. Tibetan society will never change and it will always stay feudal. Even HHDL passed away, this Taklha’s family and Gelugpa sect will control the whole process the reincarnation and most likely one of their family will give birth to the reincarnation. Just watch and this is the prophesy of Guru Rinpoche’s follower.
Interesting information, thanks for sharing it. If true, yes it is worrying but sadly not that surprising!