“We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.”
“Being nuns is excellent. We need women to be able to choose whether to have one child or four children. And the amazing thing is that when you allow women to do that, the population rate comes out just a little above replacement level, which is where it’s supposed to be.”
–Gloria Steinem (US feminist, writer and scholar)
” I remember feeling, “Why?” Here was I, having given up everything up for the Dharma, and yet they didn’t take me seriously in the way they took him seriously.” –Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo
Today, I noticed that the Facebook/Instagram accounts of Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo (1943–) (whom I recently was delighted to interview last month on my podcast, see here) posted a couple of quotes from an interview she gave with renowned US feminist writer and activist, Gloria Steinem (1934- ) in 2011 (published here in Lion’s Roar). She says:
In another quote, Jetsunma explains the patriarchal sexism surrounding her when it came to giving her equal access to studies, and how when she was staying at Tayul monastery (before going into isolated retreat) an American male scholar was given special treatment and teachings, even though he was a not a Buddhist practitioner:
“I remember this American scholar coming to study for his PhD; he wasn’t a Buddhist and the monks taught him for hours and hours every day. I desperately wanted to understand and practice Buddhism, but since I was female they didn’t think it was important to teach me. They taught him so much, which he later put into his thesis which became a book, so I can see how much they taught him. In one year he learnt far more than I ever learnt in all the 14 years that I had been with that community, even though he wasn’t even going to do it. You know, he just wanted to get his doctorate. I remember feeling, “Why?” Here was I, having given up everything up for the Dharma, and yet they didn’t took me seriously in the way they took him seriously.”
– Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo (in conversation with @gloriasteinem, hosted by the @rubinmuseum as part of “The Road That Teaches” series in 2011. You can still find and listen to it on SoundCloud)
This kind of treatment ‘rang many bells’ for me when I read it. As I have written about here a few times before, even when women do put all the effort in and get postgraduate degrees, book publications and so on (often to a higher standard than the average male scholar (even creating the first ever female-founded and sole-authored Dharma translations website in the world!) they are often overlooked, ignored, and worse denigrated and glibly dismissed by male scholars and translators and whose informed and reasonable opinions are seem as almost worthless, with nothing to say! Add into the mix that a woman is a named survivor who has bravely exposed a male teacher’s misconduct and hypocrisy and even more doors shut, and locked up.
This is not only the case in academia but also my experience as a female translator, it has almost been impossible to find willing Karma Kagyu (or any other lineage) Khenpos to assist and help me with any translations I have done. When I ask them, they always seem to be ‘busy’. Busy doing what though? And yet the 17th Karmapa has time and again asked his lamas and Khenpos to assist as much as possible all Dharma activities connected to translation and research and that it is of vital importance for the future of the Karma Kagyu tradition and studies. Yet as Devdutt Pattanaik writes in There’s a misogynist aspect of Buddhism that nobody talks about (2016):
“The complete silence on the subject of misogyny so firmly entrenched in the Buddhist scriptures, and traced to the Buddha, is quite remarkable. Research on this topic is well known but restricted to academic circles. There is Buddhism after Patriarchy by Rita Gross and Bull of a Man’ by John Powers, for example. But there is a strong desire in these books to explain away the patriarchy, rather than put the spotlight on them. It is almost as if the scholars are irritated, even embarrassed, that the facts interfere with contemporary perceptions of the Buddha.”
Gloria Steinem – Being feminist and proud
I have long admired Steinem (and other feminists of the 70s) for their brave, sassy, sexy and intelligent books, essays and wit when it came to dismantling patriarchal ideologies and cultures. Although feminism has made huge progress in terms of basic fundamental human rights of millions of women (there are still millions of women who still lack such basic choices and freedoms). In fact, misogynists and patriarchs have reduced feminism/feminist to a ‘derogatory’ term and as one that only applies to ‘western’ women (whatever that term means, which is also patronising to many Asian and African women working for female empowerment and rights).
Yet pretty much all the freedoms and privileges many women have (yet still many women don’t) such as being able to work, be financially independent, get divorced, birth control and access to abortion, the right to vote, the right to have sex before marriage, the right to travel independently and the right to own property etc. came about through the hard-won efforts of women/feminists. These fundamental human rights that men take for granted, were not given to women easily or freely and also not that long ago. In Switzerland, women only got the right to vote in 1973!
Gloria Steinem’s poem “I Hope to Be an Old Woman Who Dresses Very Inappropriately'”
Inspired by Jetsunma’s quote, I had a look at Gloria Steinem’s Instagram account today and saw she had posted a poem she wrote when turning 60 called “I Hope to Be an Old Woman Who Dresses Very Inappropriately’, which is about how women are often conditioned to be ‘like men’ to be successful or revered in a patriarchal world. And might I add to that, look (and act) like pretty, docile dolls with no real opinions of their own and no signs of aging or porn stars for the delights and services of men (not much change there it seems):
“Hoping it can be a source of inspiration (or at least laughter) for her and anyone making this decade!”
Female empowerment in Tibetan and Himalayan Buddhist traditions and the new generation of female Buddhist teachers and nuns
In that respect then, at least, the Arya Kshema (annual nuns’ Dharma event for nuns, named after one of Buddha Shakyamuni’s foremost female students) in the Tibetan and Himalayan Buddhist traditions, established by the 17th Karmapa is a much-needed move in the right direction, as well as his other various activities to empower nuns and create more equality for women within the tradition. The 8th Arya Kshema event started yesterday in Bodh Gaya (and will finish on 28th February). The 17th Karmapa has announced he will teach the Fifty Verses on the Guru (an important Vajrayana commentary on the relationship between a guru and student) during that period from the 3rd -28th February 2024:
As the 17th Karmapa spoke about here at the 4th Arya Kshema event in 2017 , the nuns’ studies and status with monks as an equal and important part of the Buddhist sangha, underwent serious degeneration in Tibet and this has been something he has been trying to improve and change ever since he came into exile from Tibet.
Also, this year, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo’s nunnery, Dongyu Gatsal Ling trail-blazed by awarding the first Khenmo degrees to several nuns there. Meaning that nuns can actually teach other nuns, which is a far more preferable situation (for monks and nuns) than having monks living in nunneries, or close by, and having regular contact with nuns (leading to all sorts of broken Vinaya issues. Monks are not supposed to be in a room alone with a woman or nun, let alone physically close to them. In Thailand, the nunnery I visited was strictly female-only and there were no men or monks living inside the nunnery at all.
In that respect, even though the Buddhist traditions are still predominantly patriarchal, with male-dominated conference panels, as I wrote about in Where Were the Women at the Global Buddhist Summit in Delhi last year, and again this year in Pictures speak a thousand words: Was the International Sangha Forum event in Bodh Gaya another “old boy’s club” event? . As well as issue of women not being able to take full ordination and Buddhist temples in Thailand where women are banned from entry due to local beliefs about menstruation being ‘dirty‘. Nonetheless, there is still hope when women continue to ask challenging questions and push through new initiatives to not only show that ‘women can do it’ but can also support other women doing it!
Music? Superwoman by Alicia Keys, 50ft Queenie by PJ Harvey and I am Woman by Emmy Meli.
Written by Adele Tomlin, 29th January 2024.
Dakini Translations and Publications མཁའ་འགྲོ་མའི་ལོ་ཙཱ་བའི་འགྱུར་དང་འགྲེམས་སྤེལ། 
Utter heartbreaking misogyny from Lama Thinley Norbu, I was so shocked to read this, and indeed we have a long way to go. Many are unkind to me too Adele, maybe someday it will get better through awareness and transparency. Until then, they just call us “crazy.” I recall the quote ‘A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.’ -Kurt Vonnegut
“In the West, women have wanted more and more freedom and so have engaged in the feminist movement, saying that men and women should be equal. Of course, in order to better their country and help other beings without seeding hatred between men and women, it is right for women to have equal education, equal pay, and equal job opportunities, including being equally able to run for president. According to the Mahayana system, all sentient beings have the same Buddha nature, so since women and men are the same human beings, why can’t women have the same opportunities as men to use all of their mind’s qualities freely?
Even so, in some ways women and men do not have the same opportunities because from the beginning their energies are different from each other as a result of their previous karma. For example, according to outer phenomena, in the worldly system men are usually physically stronger, so they can do certain kinds of heavy work more easily than women. Yet according to inner phenomena in the inner tantric system, women have more magic mind power with sensitivity than men, so they are closer to the source of phenomena.
If women could be wise and plan to ultimately benefit all beings, they would also naturally liberate themselves, like Sublime Tara. But sometimes, just like men, women try to excessively increase their temporary ordinary power and make many banal issues into big issues, making vinegar energy without thinking how to increase their positive honey energy and pure wisdom power. Women lose their attractive feminine aspect and become weird, even walking like marching Nazi soldiers, scaring all men. As a result, both men and women may use each other only temporarily for pleasure since they have no interest in the continuous power of spiritual energy’s extraordinary love. So, love between men and women may turn into a power struggle.
In this life, because of karmic result, some beings took a female body. If they don’t like their body, they can pray that in their next life they will be reborn with a man’s body rather than doing bodybuilding exercises in order to create and exhibit a powerful male body with veins and bulging muscles. Many of these bodybuilder women start to organize palm-rubbing phenomena with each other, or buy lifeless dildos, the color of uncooked chicken. Instead of this, if they can create a graceful, beautiful, refined female body, they will be able to be naturally alluring to men, which will give them natural power instead of equality. Many American gentlemen are afraid of these powerful body-building ladies, so they run away to other men to dig shit, just as many years ago people came from everywhere to the Land of Opportunity to dig gold, thinking this is their unassailable right.
Just because men and women are born with different bodies doesn’t mean that one is superior or inferior to the other. They are just different, so instead of trying to compare or compete with each other physically, pushing to be equal or better, which often creates negative energy, women should learn to cooperate with men in order to create balance and harmony and positive energy within family and country. Even if women want to have physical equality with men, how could female athletes compete with male athletes instead of with each other? How could one strong heavyweight female boxer fight with someone like Mike Tyson for the championship?
Because of this equality idea, the American government has considered the right of women to engage in military combat. But this is a wrong right rather than a right right. It is unnecessary for women to risk their lives in a war in combat that relies on physical strength, which is different between men and women, when there are so many other opportunities for them to serve their country and benefit others graciously instead of aggressively. They can raise and educate children, and they can have many different kinds of meaningful professions, including political positions.
In feminism, the best role models women can have are Tara and Yeshe Tsogyal. But if they cannot be like them, they should try to be like Mother Teresa. And if they cannot be like her, they should at least try to be like Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meir, who were dignified political leaders who wisely protected their own countries and wisely communicated with other countries rather than quarrelling about petty issues. Sometimes feminist ideas cause hatred and anger toward men. For example, the news reported that many women congratulated a lady who killed a rapist. But these are reverse congratulations since they are influencing and encouraging other innocent women to commit murder and be criminals, making them lawless, which decreases the natural honor of women.
It is strange that Americans are so concerned about human rights in other countries, while in their own country they become lawless and uncivilized because of their excessive freedom, which often creates human wrongs instead of human rights. Through their anger, women feel they have the freedom to do anything. Because of the influence of women’s rights, one lady cut off her husband’s penis, just like cutting a sausage for dinner. Then she threw it into a field. It is ridiculous that even though policemen often cannot find criminals, they easily found the missing piece of his penis to bring back to the husband. It is wonderful that because of America’s advanced medical technology, the penis was put back on the man. But I am worried that it is not working normally with a woman and that it might be dismantled again.
Some women are so angry at men that they don’t want to depend on men for anything. If they decide to have children, they are proud that they don’t need men and can just go to a sperm bank. But this sperm is from men and not from donkeys, so they still depend on men. Also, even if these women hate men, sometimes the sperm bank babies they have are boys who will become men.
Some American psychologists say that women hate men because they had bad fathers. Then, even though men are not like their fathers, they still hate them. Many psychologists have unwise and incorrect explanations about our behavior that only cause more hatred between human beings, which can seed problems for a whole country. But, of course, there are also good psychologists who benefit others. Many of them have nervous breakdowns and afterward treat patients who have nervous breakdowns.
Although men and women may think they will be free and have some power if they separate from each other, they usually suffer from loneliness as a result of their power struggles. Ordinary power must have an object in order to exist, so ordinary people lose their sense of power when they are alone. Rather than remain alone, they again seek out the comforting company of a new object. Of course, if they become good practitioners, they can learn to create real, unlosable spiritual power, and though they appear to be outwardly alone, inwardly they can be comforted by the companionship of their wisdom deity’s appearance. Still, I am grateful that through this increased freedom idea, many women are more open to vast Dharma than before. But sometimes I am frightened by some terrifyingly arrogant and shallow women, and then I am reminded of the general Hinayana theory that to be born a woman is a lower birth. In any case, since I try to have faith in the inner Vajrayana view, which admires women as the support for increasing wisdom energy, I like to respect women and pray always, until I reach the state of Vajradhara, that I will be a wisdom hero who always has wisdom heroines with complementary energy as companions to attain desireless wisdom bliss. (pp. 59-62)
https://openbuddhism.org/blog/2023/dont-bend-it-like-dzongsar-jamyang-khyentse/
It reminds me of Machik Labkyi Drönma’s biography. She once started teaching Prajnaparamita, and some Buddhist monks went to the trouble of departing from INDIA to have her exorcised IN TIBET. The idea of her being a demoness or possessed by some evil entity was far more believable than the thought of there being a woman skilled in scripture and realization.
I do have some minor sympathy for dharmic-ish agendas with science, environment, vegetarianism, etc. But there’s an evidently neglected priority to address the current, ongoing oppression of women in Tibetan society – both married and ordained.
Roles such as “Ani Khenpo” (male teacher to nuns) are still used as jokes to put down a Geshe’s merit in studies, etc.
Sadly, women who gain some attention in Tibetan Buddhist circles often avoid this topic. Sometimes they even contribute AGAINST the advancement of their sisters’ cause, by enabling abus3rs, turning a blind eye, victim shaming, etc.